There's a Soldier in Every Downfall Nazi
by godfreyraphael
Summary: What happens when the cast of the Downfall Parodies does a Call of Duty commercial? What else but Reich Ops! My first Downfall parody, and probably the first one in a written form instead of a video.


A/N: Hey, guys, this is my second attempt to create a text-based Downfall parody. I'm still too cheap to buy Vegas, which is why I'm relying on typing it up. This one is about the Black Ops commercial "There's a Soldier in All of Us," but with the Downfall Nazis in place of the ordinary people, Kobe, and Jimmy Kimmel. Yeah, sit back and review!

Helicopters flew over this barren landscape where the Soviets had erected a military compound—people assumed it was military because that's what the Soviets always built, and who would guard a housing compound with missiles? Walking over the broken glass littering the site, Traudl Junge only became more confused. An M4A1 hung on her right shoulder, and a red dot sight was mounted on the rifle. Instinct told her to take the weapon and fight. This Traudl did, and she took the M4A1 and began firing it into a building just as something exploded behind her.

Elsewhere, Hans Krebs and Wilhelm Burgdorf rappelled down another building and began firing MAC11 machine pistols at a figure running in the darkness inside. Was it Fegelein? Suddenly, Krebs's rappel broke, and he fell down the face of the building.

Eva Braun was holding a W1200 shotgun, which she fired into the hinges of the door she was facing. As she leaned back on the wall happy with herself, Magda Goebbels, armed with a Steyr AUG, kicked the door in, and Ernst-Günther Schenck lobbed a grenade inside.

What's this? A Huey with the red star of the Soviet Union has flown into the battlefield! And who else but Marshal Mikhail Tukhachevsky, Joseph Stalin's Master of Antics, should be on the minigun raining fire and death on the Downfall Nazis? This could only mean one thing: the Stalin Parodies crew wants in on the "There's a Soldier in All of Us" business!

_Not on my watch_, thought Hermann Fegelein as he brought up his RPG-7. _No cuts, Suck-achevsky!_ He fired the RPG, and the round struck the Huey's tail. The last he saw of it was a trail of black smoke.

Rochus Misch fired his AK-47, which he thought looked like a crappy version of the StG-44, along with that serious general Wilhelm Keitel when his cellphone rang. As he reached for it, a skeletal-looking figure in a yellow suit fired a Spectre machine pistol at a car, which exploded just as he ran out of bullets.

Heinrich Himmler, running out of targets, decided to fire on a car "for teh lulz." Unfortunately, Albert Speer was right beside that car, and he flew when it exploded. Remarkably, the Architect of the Reich didn't react at all to his predicament. He's ice cold! He's way cooler than Koller!

Rochus finally grabbed his cellphone, and as he pressed ANSWER, he spoke the only words he spoke in the entire history of the Downfall Parodies: "_An Marschall Schukow_?" It was German for _Marshal Zhukov_, and you have to wonder if that Russian general called him.

Joseph Goebbels didn't know what he was doing in this infernal battlefield, but he did know that he would have to fight his way out of it. He took hold of the M203 attached under his M4 and pulled the trigger, noting with anger that the word SKELETOR was painted on its barrel.

Otto Günsche was able to escape Skeletor's n00b tube attack, and as he ran for cover in an abandoned building, he fired his shotgun indiscriminately at the roof and pillars.

Martin Bormann hid behind a thick brick wall as bullets peppered its other side. He cradled an RPG-7 with FOURTH REICH painted on the launcher. Through a gap in the wall, he brought the weapon up, aimed through the RDS mounted on top, and fired. The recoil pushed his pudgy body back.

This sequence was coming to an end, and everyone knew it. And who else should end it but the Führer, Adolf Hitler himself? In a scene straight out of the annals of epic win, Hitler took two M1911 pistols from his pants pockets and fired just as the Luftwaffe bombed the hell out of the place. Running out of ammo, Dolfy callously threw the pistols away and reached for the two M4s behind his back.

Even in the Downfall Parodies, where most all people could think about was finding Fegelein and stopping Constantin Films from blocking said parodies, there's a soldier in all of us.

UP NEXT: Hitler Reacts to their "There's a Soldier in All of Us" Commercial Being Number One


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